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Lately, everything I have written has become something that I wish to never make eye contact with the reader, or has remained unfinished. I don't know which is worse. I guess that's why I am here writing this. I need to figure out if writing and thinking everything I create is garbage but I guess that's good because I am writing in the first place, or is it better than I am realizing the potential of the work and give up to start on something new. there is too much confusion in what is better and which one I should justify in doing. But yet here I am, writing something I will probably scrap because I also see no future for this little post.

It's not like I don't want to post anything, or purposely pushing everything off, I just don't feel confident in what I am producing. There is something missing in everything I am making. I can't figure it out and have desperately been searching for what that possibly could be. there is too much to think about. I wish that someone could come and find my problem, but that involves somebody having to read the trash I have stored in my drafts. I'm too scared to see what I have with myself, does it sound like I can have someone else look at it? I didn't think so. 

I can remember a time when my hands would go wild with inspiration and couldn't keep up with my imagination. It was beautiful to see the way the ideas formed into something I could hold in my hands. Physically holding work that took my breath away brought life back into my lungs. 

Now I'm lucky enough to write one page or scrambled thought in an hour. 

I understand that changing the routine to adjust to my new frame of thought is necessary, but even with these changes and resets, nothing is working. I'm stuck scouring the internet for answeres for my writer's block and left with the same ridiculous solutions as someone looking up "chest pain" on WebMD. I'm left with nowhere to turn but inside, all is left is room for ideas. But every good, bad or halfway decent ones have left with no sign where they went or if they will ever come back.

This is my S. O. S.. Someone help me with this. I would say serious inquires only, but I'm so desperate that I'll take anything.