back to who i used to be

Talking to a friend yesterday really opened my eyes to a huge way my life has changed.

I can remember waking up so energetic and early, I would wake up and exercise and make myself smoothies, and just being ready for the day. But now things are different. Everything was good and crazy but that was how I liked it.

I would wake up at 6 am and go on a jog and come back home, take a shower and make myself a smoothie (smoothies were my life!!!!), and sing along to music and get ready for whatever was gonna happen that day. I used to love my morning time.

where have i been

I feel that when it comes to writing I have been left in a drought. Partly because of the lack of water and inspiration and also because I don't let the inspiration come in. I feel like sometimes the I am the block that is causing the writer's block. There are sprinkles of words that make it through the cracks, and instead of running to the droplets for whatever quench I can get for my thirst. But what has been happening is that I have just been sitting there in front of the drops watching them fall and then evaporate into the air.

I don't know when I began to neglect the thoughts that came to me. Even the ones that destroyed me still had a way to make it out onto the paper, but now, even when I think of that word or phrase and let it disappear and let it slowly melt away like an ice cube in my hand.