Talking to a friend yesterday really opened my eyes to a huge way my life has changed.
I can remember waking up so energetic and early, I would wake up and exercise and make myself smoothies, and just being ready for the day. But now things are different. Everything was good and crazy but that was how I liked it.
I would wake up at 6 am and go on a jog and come back home, take a shower and make myself a smoothie (smoothies were my life!!!!), and sing along to music and get ready for whatever was gonna happen that day. I used to love my morning time.
Then, of course, everything changed for me. Something happened, for a long time, and a piece of me was lost, and it dragged down the part of me that loved morning light with it. For what feels like the longest time, that part of me was gone. I thought that I would never want anything to do with that time of day anymore. Instead of walking up when my body wanted to, I ended up forcing myself back to sleep and not wake up until after the morning light has been far gone.
But just like before, something happened, not the same thing, but something. That's all I needed. That change felt like the warm morning light against my skin. I forgot that there was a difference between what it actually feels like and the burn I thought it would give me.
I am honestly done with letting myself slip away. I miss who I used to be. I know that I won't ever be that person again, things have happened and I've grown and been shaped by all of it. I am so thankful for everything. I want a piece of who I was to come back and meet who I am now. And maybe I'll learn a thing or two about how great the yellow light really is.