Tomorrow is the last day of the year, and if I am going to be honest, I have been obsessing over this for the past month. I am amped and I am feeling determined. I have been working on my goal book and still confused on how I am going to be able to use the book on a day to day basis. BUT I am really open to how to do that. I am just thinking of looking back into the book once a week.
Anyway, the end of the year is here and it has taken so long for me to write this one post it might be the end of next year by the time I finish this. So here I go!
This goal book means a lot to me and I am putting a lot of expectations on this and I guess I am trying to settle them down a bit. Now saying that I just want to state that I know that having all of these goals and endpoints and stepping stones in mind does not make me think that I am going to be a completely different person that is going to be truly amazing and everything I want to be in life. No. I know [well hoping I guess] that I am going to be a completely different person, I am a completely different person from last year. I sure as hell don't have the same problems I do last year. I remember crying a lot this time last year, there was a lot of stuff happening, a lot of what felt like the end of the world for me. AND YOU KNOW WHAT I survived.
I am so happy that I did and I am so happy where I am right now. Is it the place where I want to be in my life? No. Is this place where I have aimed to be? Kind of.
I actually love myself. I am self-aware of my body and not just assuming things about it. I am actually writing here and connecting myself to what I love and who I love.
And sad, side note, but when you stop focusing completely on you, whether it be positive or negative, you realize what is going on in other people's lives, especially their pain. I have been trying to take the negative out and focus on the positive, but that has still had me focus on me. I didn't see other people and worst of all I didn't see their pain.
I know I need to stop that, but better than that, I WANT to stop.
And that's the best part about all of this time and the feeling in the air, is that it is not only an acknowledgment to change, BUT it is a want to change.
So yeah, I'm excited.