This has been my number one thought for the past week. I have been wanting to write and get all of my juices flowing before April, but I just end up with a blanker than usual paper. I feel like I have the ideas but when it actually comes to me sitting at my desk, I just end up focusing on everything else in the room. I know that this next month is going to demand a lot of me creatively and I am trying to get into the hang of things before I push myself off the deep end into it.
The things I am going to be creating in my ideal world are basic school work to begin with, then I want to keep on posting here, I want to make more videos on YouTube, and LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF POETRY! I am so excited, but also feeling overwhelmed...
I want to not only put out all of this content, but I also want to make this content good. That is going to be my biggest struggle. I want there to be quality with my quantity. I am having so many ideas and feelings and expectations fly around everywhere whenever I think about next month. All I have been doing these been doing the past two weeks is convincing myself that this is a good idea and this is going to help my creative side to really get exercised.
As scared as I am, I am very excited. I am very nervous and anxious for this. I know for someone reading this it might not sound like that much but if you really think about it, I have all of this extra writing I am doing on top of my everyday life and duties. April is a month that I am going to be starting another job too, which takes a HUGE chunk of my week. I am welcoming all of this with open arms and hoping that it doesn't ram into me so hard that I land on my ass.
A big thing that I have been working on is cutting out time to write. I think my favorite days to write is going to be Mondays and Fridays. Those are looking like the days that I am the freest and really able to spare hours in front of my journal. Being able to lay out my creativity all over the place will definitely be the most interesting part of this all. I want to see how me dedicating myself a lot more to poetry will affect my other loves, like my social media and this blog for one. I know I already said I want to keep posting and writing on here, but will I have more than one post for the month? If I have more will they be like my normal long hand entries I've trying to keep up?
There are some serious concerns. But then I also remember, these poems don't have to be brilliant, they don't have to be a new treasure of literature. I think I have been putting too much pressure on the result verses the actual goal of this challenge. This challenge is just to write one poem a day. That's it. Nothing too crazy. I know I set the bar for myself a little high, but I still know that these poems don't have to be final draft material, they just have to be done. That is the part I am most excited about.
I guess I just need to remember to have fun and not take everything so seriously. I just got to relax. Even right now, I just took a deep breathe and it feels like my typing has calmed down too. I don't have to stress out about something that I have decided to do because I know it will better me.
Breath in, breath out, you got this.